Observation #1. My Catches in Life
I’ve being reading a book called The Pen and the Bell by Brenda Miller and Holly J. Hughes, two smart women contemplating about different and sometimes not expected sources of creativity. There was a short story in the book about a woman who was in doubts and decided to go to a park and meditate on some issues which bothered her. When approaching a pond, she saw a sign “Catch and Release” set there for fishermen. As well as for her, the phrase became a guide in my life decision.
In several weeks my husband, Tom and me are moving to USA. And though we have already made all the preparations, it is difficult mentally to say goodbye to the established life with its friends, family, work. Did I enjoy everything I had in Moscow? I think I did. But do I feel an urge to move on? I feel this too.
I can remember I had several big catches in my life.
The first one was when I was a teenager and decided to leave home for collage. And I’ve been a homey girl. I did not know how and why exactly I needed it, but I knew I had to do it. I was scared and uncertain but exсited in the same time. Those years in collage were tuff ones but I never regretted them.
My second catch was my move to Moscow from Vladivostok to my then boyfriend, Tom. I never regretted this decision either. I do not think I fully understood what I was doing by leaving my family behind as it took just one month to miss them and cry while writing a letter to my mom.
And then it happened again. My third big catch. After some long and disappointing years of working for different companies and trying to find a proper place for myself I finally was laid of and pushed out of the office to start a new life and a career of personal trainer at the gym. It turned out that I’ve never regretted this change as well.
So, after almost five years since my last catch I’ve got another one. And some familiar feelings and doubts arise in me as it has already happened three times before. Together with uncertainty there is excitement too. Looking back I realize I enjoyed all my catches and I don’t think I could savor them more than I did. Then it is time to move on. Life has its end and all the events which take place in it tend to come to an end as well. I think I just need to realize it and let them go, be grateful and accept new opportunities, new joy, let another catch into your life.
Observation #2: Fishing
We all fish in our lives. Any activity we do leads to something new, and the more active we are the more experienced fishermen we become. We need to trust our guts too. As fish are normally caught in the wild, there is no guarantee the fishing will be successful without anything interferes and changes the course of events.